I have a very good friend who, at the age of 22, lost his whole family in one moment. His wife & son passed on in an auto accident. Afterward, the church they had been attending, well, shunned him. Visits? Calls? Invitations to be with the other folks? Nope.
I know this church. It is not made up of heartless people. Why did my friend (whom I had not yet met at that time) not get any support?
My best guess is that he was living through everyone's worst nightmare. Its just too terrible to think about, & those who knew him and could have reached out just didn't want to be reminded of that.
Just this week, I learned that a dear friend of mine has been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease. She's been suffering from some of its symptoms for awhile. I know I should visit her & on a regular basis, too. Still, I'm afraid. I'm afraid to see her suffer and know there's nothing this side of Heaven to help her. I'm afraid of her embarrassment over her limitations. I'm afraid of being reminded that there are no guarantees in this life. I'm afraid of making her feel worse when I'm overcome with sadness at seeing my cheerful, spunky, active friend fading away.
I know this much, I must go visit her & not delay. Pray for my friend's spirit while her body is under attack.
I think I know just where you're coming from. When Matt (a co-worker of mine) was dying from cancer, I didn't even talk to him much, because it was just so awkward. If you just make small-talk it's weird, cause you're just ignoring the elephant in the room, and you can't help him by talking about the problem. It's a strange and alienating thing.
ReplyDeleteI do regret not visiting him in the hospital. We will pray for her.