reading the classics

I have always loved reading the classics.  Lately, I began reading a Henry James novel, Portrait of a Lady.  I love English Literature, from Horatio Hornblower to Pride & Prejudice, but I"m so frustrated with James' heroine, I've considered putting the book down.

Why?  because she doesn't know what she wants.   Even to me, when I consider, it doesn't seem that much of a fault.  How else will the story build if there is no angst, no grist to grind with?

More accurately, she doesn't know what she wants OR what she doesn't want.  She has some vague impressions, but she cannot explain them and admits not to understanding them herself.   It seems to me that she works at keeping her passions in check to a point of fault.  I've learned (thank you, Jonah Lehrer) that our snap decisions and quick impressions are the most accurate, since they are really a remarkably fast computation by our brain using all our experience & education to that point.

I think our heroine is mostly afraid.  She rightly claims she wants to "see life"  but not "to experience" it, as that would be too scary.  Perhaps as the story builds, she will mature and become a true seeker of life's fascinations.  In fairness, she is very young.

I certainly would rather be the age I am now, than be 20 again.