"But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things & will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you ; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
"I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Acts 21:23-24
"I speak the truth in Christ - I am not lying, my conscience confirms it in the Holy Spirit" - Romans 9:1
I've known for some time that the Holy Spirit is really real and is living in me. That the Spirit is my intimate friend, I sometimes am blissfully full of this knowledge, but other times, I get in my own way.
I've been floundering lately. I feel unsure as to what I should spend my time on, & much of the time, peace eludes me. I've not been listening to the Holy Spirit.
What I believe, reading scripture about the Holy Spirit, is that this gift of Holy, God-given, knowledge and peace is as close as my empty, outstretched hand.
Even while I know I must order my own days, I'm going to let the Holy Spirit order my life and guide my thoughts.
At least until I get in my own way again & have to be re-taught. Hopefully, those missteps will get further & further apart . . .
Monday, March 21, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
reading the classics
I have always loved reading the classics. Lately, I began reading a Henry James novel, Portrait of a Lady. I love English Literature, from Horatio Hornblower to Pride & Prejudice, but I"m so frustrated with James' heroine, I've considered putting the book down.
Why? because she doesn't know what she wants. Even to me, when I consider, it doesn't seem that much of a fault. How else will the story build if there is no angst, no grist to grind with?
More accurately, she doesn't know what she wants OR what she doesn't want. She has some vague impressions, but she cannot explain them and admits not to understanding them herself. It seems to me that she works at keeping her passions in check to a point of fault. I've learned (thank you, Jonah Lehrer) that our snap decisions and quick impressions are the most accurate, since they are really a remarkably fast computation by our brain using all our experience & education to that point.
I think our heroine is mostly afraid. She rightly claims she wants to "see life" but not "to experience" it, as that would be too scary. Perhaps as the story builds, she will mature and become a true seeker of life's fascinations. In fairness, she is very young.
I certainly would rather be the age I am now, than be 20 again.
Why? because she doesn't know what she wants. Even to me, when I consider, it doesn't seem that much of a fault. How else will the story build if there is no angst, no grist to grind with?
More accurately, she doesn't know what she wants OR what she doesn't want. She has some vague impressions, but she cannot explain them and admits not to understanding them herself. It seems to me that she works at keeping her passions in check to a point of fault. I've learned (thank you, Jonah Lehrer) that our snap decisions and quick impressions are the most accurate, since they are really a remarkably fast computation by our brain using all our experience & education to that point.
I think our heroine is mostly afraid. She rightly claims she wants to "see life" but not "to experience" it, as that would be too scary. Perhaps as the story builds, she will mature and become a true seeker of life's fascinations. In fairness, she is very young.
I certainly would rather be the age I am now, than be 20 again.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
No Child Left Behind
I recently read a Yahoo news story of 2 women who each decided she was done being a mom. One of them had 2 little kids, & the other had 3 middle schoolish-aged children. Both divorced & the fathers have full custody.
You can see by my above title that my opinion of motherhood is different from theirs.
Most of the article is about how & why they did it, but a particular sentence about the 2nd mom really struck me - "I became a mom when I was 20. I did not have the life a normal 20 year old would have." Seems to me she feels cheated. I can relate to that - if I let myself, I can feel really cheated. I bet you can, too. Hardly a rare emotion.
"Is there life out there, so much she hasn't done! Is there life beyond her family & he home?" Reba
"There's no normal life, Wyatt. There's just life." Doc Holiday to Wyatt Earp in Tombstone
The only thing I don't find odd about these two women is that they did have the normal feelings that mothers have from time to time. Everyone under the sun wants to do something that they just want to do for themselves. What I find extremely odd is that these two became so fixated on themselves that they left their children.
An interesting point made by one of them was something like "nobody thinks twice if a father (either married or divorced) doesn't want to be a full-time dad". That's true.
I wonder how extreme this story is? Would they have continued to be moms if they'd stayed married? Did they really feel they couldn't achieve what they wanted professionally & still live with their children?
I'm pretty certain there are a lot of people who live with their children but neither care for nor parent them. How do their children turn out? In fact, English gentry culture for generations shows children raised in the same manor house but by servants & governesses - or shipped off to school.
I have a lot of ideas & dreams: things I want to learn, do, & build. Places I want to go & explore. I've even picked out the violin I want to get (so I can learn.) I've never felt my children an impediment to any aspect of my life. They enrich my life daily.
The biggest question I want answered is: how will each of these women feel about their decision when she is 70?
You can see by my above title that my opinion of motherhood is different from theirs.
Most of the article is about how & why they did it, but a particular sentence about the 2nd mom really struck me - "I became a mom when I was 20. I did not have the life a normal 20 year old would have." Seems to me she feels cheated. I can relate to that - if I let myself, I can feel really cheated. I bet you can, too. Hardly a rare emotion.
"Is there life out there, so much she hasn't done! Is there life beyond her family & he home?" Reba
"There's no normal life, Wyatt. There's just life." Doc Holiday to Wyatt Earp in Tombstone
The only thing I don't find odd about these two women is that they did have the normal feelings that mothers have from time to time. Everyone under the sun wants to do something that they just want to do for themselves. What I find extremely odd is that these two became so fixated on themselves that they left their children.
An interesting point made by one of them was something like "nobody thinks twice if a father (either married or divorced) doesn't want to be a full-time dad". That's true.
I wonder how extreme this story is? Would they have continued to be moms if they'd stayed married? Did they really feel they couldn't achieve what they wanted professionally & still live with their children?
I'm pretty certain there are a lot of people who live with their children but neither care for nor parent them. How do their children turn out? In fact, English gentry culture for generations shows children raised in the same manor house but by servants & governesses - or shipped off to school.
I have a lot of ideas & dreams: things I want to learn, do, & build. Places I want to go & explore. I've even picked out the violin I want to get (so I can learn.) I've never felt my children an impediment to any aspect of my life. They enrich my life daily.
The biggest question I want answered is: how will each of these women feel about their decision when she is 70?
Friday, March 4, 2011
Rain Poem
Rain, rain, come today
Sit down for a few hours
Stay
No hurry to go away
Rain rain come today
Sit down for a few hours
Stay
No hurry to go away
Rain rain come today
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
nothing New under the sun
Good day, gentle reader! I hope you are well. I've chosen nothing New under the sun (nNuts) as my blog name since it helps me keep perspective in my own life (this is a big deal with me - I'm easily . . . uh, easy . . . um, oh yes! easily distracted.)
Based upon various reading & some of my own thinking, I believe the idea that a person or society has come up with something "New" has given some the handle they used to flush God out of their lives.
I adore science, but how much scientific work has gone into Disproving God's Existence? How much shouting & anger is spewed by folks claiming He is not real?
My brother (rabidfrogblog) lately showed a video clip of big city dwellers of whom, most chalked up Christians as uneducated, backward, & generally awful. This attitude is hardly new, George Elliot (famous writer, centuries past) up & decided one Sunday, she had a great modern way of thinking & no longer needed God.
Why are so many beset with the importance of Disproving God's Existence? Why is this a centuries old tradition?
I believe that some of the time it is because they fear. Fear to admit His power. Fearful of giving up their own supposed "control" over their lives. Fear to reconcile His reality with their innermost heart.
Think about something you don't believe in. Do you even care enough about it to give it a moment of your time? Prob'ly not. Then why would an unbeliever expend so much energy? Hmmm . . . .
Coming Soon: Peace! its not just for "people you already like or get along with" anymore.
Based upon various reading & some of my own thinking, I believe the idea that a person or society has come up with something "New" has given some the handle they used to flush God out of their lives.
I adore science, but how much scientific work has gone into Disproving God's Existence? How much shouting & anger is spewed by folks claiming He is not real?
My brother (rabidfrogblog) lately showed a video clip of big city dwellers of whom, most chalked up Christians as uneducated, backward, & generally awful. This attitude is hardly new, George Elliot (famous writer, centuries past) up & decided one Sunday, she had a great modern way of thinking & no longer needed God.
Why are so many beset with the importance of Disproving God's Existence? Why is this a centuries old tradition?
I believe that some of the time it is because they fear. Fear to admit His power. Fearful of giving up their own supposed "control" over their lives. Fear to reconcile His reality with their innermost heart.
Think about something you don't believe in. Do you even care enough about it to give it a moment of your time? Prob'ly not. Then why would an unbeliever expend so much energy? Hmmm . . . .
Coming Soon: Peace! its not just for "people you already like or get along with" anymore.
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